Adventures in Substitute Teaching

I occasionally substitute teach at the American school in town. I haven't worked too much this semester, mainly due to scheduling conflicts. Last week was actually my first week back, and boy was it memorable.

I was subbing for Mr. Alvarez, the Spanish teacher. No problem. Hablo un poco de español (I speak a little Spanish). However, Mr. Alvarez also doubles as the gym coach, meaning I, at nine months pregnant, had to organize a game of indoor softball for 16 eight-year-olds!

Calli the gym coach?

Thankfully the principal realized that I may need some help and called in an additional set of hands. The class actually went surprisingly well, but I did get some hilarious comments from the kids. My favorite was the little girl whom I've subbed for previously who said it was nice being coached by "an old person." She corrected herself to say she meant someone she knew from before, but the damage was already done. Out of the mouths of babes, right?

Playing With Paint

Last week while substituting for the art teacher at school, I got to unleash my inner artist. If you know me in real life you know that I have absolutely no artistic ability at all. It's such a shame because my grandmother is actually an artist. Neither my mother nor I can draw or paint though--sorry mom. You know it's true.

The good thing about teaching kindergarten and first graders is that you don't have to be good. The project the art teacher left for us was coloring underwater sea creatures in oil pastels and then painting a background in tempera paint. It's really neat because the paint goes right over the oil pastels, so it teaches the kids how oil and water don't mix. I've never seen this technique before, but I love it! I love it so much that I created two original "works of art."

Masterpiece Number One

See how the black paint beads on the oil pastel?  Isn't that cool?

I decided to add some whimsy to my upstairs bathroom by framing my second "work of art" in a cheap frame I found at the thrift store.

Masterpiece Number Two

The best part of it is that apparently tempera paintings are very long lasting. Wikipedia tells me that examples from the first century AD still exist. Looks like my little octopus has a long, full life ahead of him.

Things Not To Do in a Classroom

Did you ever play the party game Mafia? Usually two or three people are chosen to be the "mafia" and everyone else is a townsperson. At "night" the mafia secretly "murder" a townsperson. During the "day" the townspeople discuss who they think the killers are and vote to eliminate one person. The game continues until all the mafia are eliminated or the mafia outnumber the townspeople (more info here).

After my 8th graders finished their assignments, they asked if they could play another party game called Heads Up, Seven Up. They didn't have quite enough people so I suggested they played mafia. As I'm explaining the rules to them, one girl asked, "Should you be talking like this in a classroom?"

Umm...probably not. My how times have changed.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Have you seen "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" It's a quiz show where the challenger is asked basic questions from 1st-5th grade textbooks. There is a classroom of kids that can provide lifelines as needed. It sounds so easy, but most contestants can barely squeak through the 1st grade subjects. Today I was in a real-life version of the show, and let me tell you--I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader!

image from here

As of today, I am officially a part-time substitute teacher. Yay! It's a side job that will allow me to bring in some extra cash and fill up some hours. Here are some homework questions my 5th grade science kids had. Do you know the answers?

1. What is the movement of heat called?
2. What object transfers heat to Earth through radiation?
3. Which method of heat transfer relates to the phrase "hot air rises"?
4. The hotter the material, the ___ its particles are moving.

 How about these 8th grade science questions?

1. Number the planets in the order they appear from the Sun, with the planet closest to the Sun being number 1 and the planet farthest from the Sun being number 9. [Pluto is still one of the 9]
2. What is the term for a cloud of gas, ice and dust in space?
3. Essay question: How were maria probably formed? [Side note: what are maria??]

ANSWER KEY:
5th grade:
1. heat transfer 2. sun 3. convection 4. faster
8th grade:
1. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto 2. nebula 3. Lava flows from the moon's interior flooded into large basins on the moon's surface. Maria are the dark areas of the moon.